Christmas might be a favorite holiday for many people, but I think Thanksgiving blows it out of the water. I don’t even like my family that much (only in small doses), but anything about a full day dedicated to food, appreciation and appreciation of food is right up my alley. Most of my loved ones don’t appreciate spicy food as much as I do, but rest assured, we spice up our Thanksgiving with authority. I always throw a few squirts of hot sauce into the béchamel sauce of my famous Southern mac and cheese.
This is my place: the kitchen. I’ve made it my life’s mission to enhance the flavor and spice in everything I touch. The Umami Midas, if you will. Last week’s hot takes weren’t all bad, though Tyler Allgeier fell victim to a suspiciously high Falcons win rate and didn’t do much. Baker Mayfield was cruel again, even in a great matchup. He just lost his job to Sam Darnold for crying out loud. Antonio Gibson was okay against the Texans, but the Commanders ended up being the first team to struggle to get the ball on them effectively this season.
My crown prince from last week was Wan’Dale Robinson. He amassed over 19 PPR points with the Lions but tragically tore his ACL in the Giants’ loss. Not to say the Lions weren’t going to win anyway, but a lot of people successfully started Robinson last week based on my prediction.
If you’re slurping gravy up your esophagus on Thursday, I hope you follow these sharp predictions for week 12. Feel free to yell at me on twitter even if it’s just about QT for how stupid my takes are. There is no bad press in our business, only wins and losses. For me, take your cousins for a “walk in nature” and pass the mashed potatoes.
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A rejuvenated (and ticked off) D’Andre Swift explodes for more than 25 PPR points in a 65-point Thanksgiving between Lions and Bills
Unless you are love When you’re fielding RBs that offer nothing for fantasies other than vulture touchdowns, chances are you’re infinitely frustrated with using D’Andre Swift. There’s nothing wrong with Jamaal Williams or Justin Jackson, but they’re mere mortals on the field compared to Swift. Dan Campbell can give Williams all the goalline snaps to pummel his opponents into submission, but this offense is far more explosive with Swift in the backfield. I’m expecting a big spike in usage for the Georgia superstar this Thanksgiving, especially in the reception game. When Buffalo’s offense takes a toll on the Lions’ terrible defense, Swift is called upon to do what he does best: make big plays. I can’t wait to spit chunks of turkey with my knuckles swollen as this game turns into a thrilling gunfight. It’s the most American thing you can get.
Elijah Moore shakes up the late Zach Wilson by breaking WR1 territory in Jets’ overwhelming victory over Da Bears
Most fantasy executives removed Elijah Moore from their rosters a long time ago, but I never did. Zach Wilson’s amazing ineptitude has destroyed the value of every Jets recipient, but especially Moore. The tape was terribly devastating. All were open against New England last week, but Wilson missed every time. His bench press is drought-quenching rain for Garrett Wilson’s managers, but it frees Elijah Moore to dominate the slot, with either Mike White or Joe Flacco running the show. I’m dizzy this is my moment Moore is back on the radar as a league winner in this highly randomly timed course correction for the Jets.
Geno Smith is the QB1 for week 12; Sea Turkeys fry the Raiders with two touchdowns
The stark contrast between Russell Wilson’s Broncos and Geno Smith’s Seahawks will be felt Sunday. It still feels weird writing that. Las Vegas still has one of the worst defenses in the league, and Geno endured a 2022 season in Seattle. Cheer on DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett. This is a peak week for her, as is Kenneth Walker III. I envision three 300-yard touchdown passes for Geno this week, along with about 40 more yards on the ground and a quick touchdown to put the icing on the cake. The Raiders are terrible. They can’t even afford to pay an interim head coach when they’re rightfully firing Josh McDaniels. This year’s most improved player will make the Vegas defenses shine.
AJ Dillon wakes up a cold curmudgeon with multiple touchdowns in Philly; Packers Upset Eagles on Game-Winning Drive by Aaron Rodgers
I admit it. I loved that AJ Dillon came into the season. So far, that vision hasn’t remotely come to light. At the same time, I’ve always maintained that his second-half schedule had the potential to put him on the agenda as league winners RB. No defensive player wants to tackle a 250-pound battering ram when it’s freezing outside. It’s going to be chilly in Philly Sunday night, and the first-place Eagles haven’t exactly responded well to physical rushing teams. Green Bay’s offense is most effective when they run with Dillon and Aaron Jones followed by game action passes from Aaron Rodgers. I see multiple opportunities for Dillon to have his best game of the season at the Linc. Philadelphians never give up, and neither should AJ Dillon’s managers. His time to shine (and force business decisions) is now.